Is Romance Overrated?

After being in and out of the dating scene within the past few months, I finally posed the question to my mom: Is romance overrated?”  My mom instantly laughed at me and told me that maybe I am dating the wrong type of guys.  Although my mom might be right about the type of guy I am dating, I was still not convinced that romance and the hearts and flowers are necessarily a way to love another.

When I initially posed the question, I thought of romance as a frivolous display of affection.  Romance was sending a dozen of roses, eating at expensive restaurants, good morning and good night texts, the guy buying outrageous yet beautiful gifts, couple pictures, and the whole gooey weird things that I never enjoyed.

So because research is my forte and my passion in life, I decided to research the word and meaning or romance.  After very little research, I discovered a bare bone minimalist definition.

ro-mance noun

  1. a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love
  2. a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life

This simplistic definition has shed some light on romance and the error in my words.  Romance as a whole is not overrated, but the definition of romance that has been sold to us by the big advertising companies and Hollywood is overrated.  This standard set has made teenage girls and young woman to view love and romance as something that is not always obtainable in real life. It has made people think that there is a perfect guy who will have certain attributes and will give you the world. The movie industry made romance into something more than in needs to be.

Simply romance has a different and unique meaning to each individual person. It can simply be holding hands in a long distance relationship. Watching a sporting event together.  Making the other person laugh uncontrollably.  It is that feeling of wanting to be together and enjoying life.  Romance is the most simple form is not overrated, but a perfect way to live life.

Stereotyping: Fraternity Edition

There has been a long period of time since I have recorded some of the crazy thoughts in my head.  One of my many pet peeves that I often rant about is stereotyping and placing people within a box.  I have taken a hiatus on writing on this issue, but of course another incident has went viral that calls my attention to the issue.

Over the past weekend, a guy attended a party at PSU.  While leaving a fraternity house on campus this individual encountered another person that claimed that he did not like people who are gay.  After this person stated this, the first individual preceded to tell this person that he was in fact gay.

Unfortunately the situation ended with that individual receiving a vicious beating by the other. Afterward he posted pictures on social media stating “Don’t let a Frat guy know you’re gay”.  As I read this tweet that has been Favorited and retweeted by thousands of individuals, chills ran down my spine.  My initial thought was that this was terrible situation and I felt sorry for this poor guy, but as I reread the tweet my feelings changed drastically.   He just indirectly called thousands of Greek members homophobic.  He allowed one terrible incident describe every person who decides to pledge a Greek organization.  He described men who decide to be in a fraternity homophobic jerks who could violently attack an individual due to their sexual orientation.

Many Greek affiliated individuals, myself included, understand that one individual actions should not represent the system as a whole, but unfortunately society does not always agree and Greek bashing has began. We also understand that this tweet will erase many good deeds that we have accomplished within our community.  Unfortunately this individual has placed our organizations into a box. He has stereotyped all of us and has made others on social media platforms view Greek life as a place the breeds homophobia.

So after a little investigation, I discovered the individual that assaulted this man, was in fact not affiliated with any fraternity, but rather independent.  This man who wrongfully accused a “Frat guy” has not apologized or corrected his words on his social media site.  There are so many individuals out there that took that tweet at face value and think negatively of Greek life when in fact there was an error in his statements to begin with.

Again I am deeply sadden that this man was attacked merely by his sexual orientation, but I am also disappointed that he has not seen the error in his ways and realize that he stereotyped this jerk as a Frat guy causing a stir in society for individuals that did not wrong him.  When will people realize that what is posted in social media can have a negative impact on people or groups of people. When are we going to break the stigma and stop stereotyping people. All Fraternity men are not homophobic, they are not taught to be homophobic or racist as a group. Like all groups of people in society they should not have a terrible stereotype follow them without good reason.